Of Wedding colors and Bridal train brouhaha…

I love weddings, I really do. What’s not to love? I absolutely cherish the look on the groom’s face when he first sights his bride walking in. While everyone else is up and fixated on the bride, I’m busy studying the groom’s expression. Yes, I’m eccentric like that. For me, that look never gets old. I love the exchange of vows and all the emotions that come with it, especially when the couple writes their own vows.

But that’s about it. I’ve tried in vain to find more reasons to love attending weddings. Not even my love for party jollof rice can fuel my lack of enthusiasm. Maybe it’s because all I’ve ever attended are over-crowded Nigerian weddings that go on for what seems like an eternity. Frankly though, there have been a few I have really enjoyed, especially after the wine kicks in.

Firstly there’s the crowd and the gate-crashers! I’m not a social butterfly and weddings bring out the social awkwardness in me. Call me boring if you wish, but I’m a sucker for small intimate gatherings. None of all that Lagos-style ‘owambe’ please! I laugh as I type this, because ‘small’ doesn’t describe my family. We took God’s mandate to ‘reproduce and replenish the earth’ pretty seriously. Oh well, a girl is allowed to dream right? A friend once told me that at her wedding a few years ago, she burst into tears immediately she stepped into the reception hall. No, it wasn’t tears of joy, it was tears of “who are all these people!? Why are they here!? I don’t know half the people here!”. I laughed at her then, but now that I find myself contemplating the M word, I can’t help thinking that’s gonna so be me. I come from a family where “we will be hosting 10 people” always ends up being a mammoth gathering.

Then there’s all that bridal train brouhaha. The first time I was part of a bridal party I was a naive 9 year old “flower girl”, oblivious of the cost of the bridesmaid dresses, or whether or not the bridesmaids had combed the length and breadth of Idumota Market in search of burgundy shoes at the bride’s insistence. Several years and a few bridal parties later and I’ve become familiar with the struggles of a typical Nigerian bridesmaid. I have worn my fair share of unflattering bridesmaids dresses, dug out my savings and then some to pay for aso-ebi fabric that the tailor totally ruined. My big size 42 feet have walked the stalls of Balogun Market in search of a certain color of shoes to no avail. My dear friend, let’s call her ‘Adaora’, is getting married in a few weeks. The other day I asked about her wedding colors and aso-ebi so I could prepare and she goes “which aso-ebi? I can’t be bothered. Biko, come as you are.” I laughed so hard. Very lazy geh, that Adaora, but brides like her will surely live long.

Don’t even get me started on the wedding colors. I remember as a curious little girl reading the wedding invites my mom brought home, typical wedding colors were blue and red, orange and purple, gold and white, basic colors that everyone knew. You can imagine the confusion in my childish mind when I first saw ‘pastel blue’ on an invite. My artistic albeit childish imagination couldn’t fathom what that was. And no, Google wasn’t a friend in my day. Many years have gone by and wedding colors now have even the most artistic of us running to Google. How do I explain to Chinedu from whom I buy fabrics that Turquoise which is greenish-blue is different from Aquamarine which is bluish-green?

I wonder what the ‘big W’ is gonna be like for me when it’s time. I wonder if I’m gonna be true to myself and keep it ‘small’ and intimate or succumb to pressure and go all out. I wonder if it’s gonna be payback time on those evil friends who have made me spend an arm and a leg and then some on ugly dresses. Don’t judge me, you’ve probably thought worse. I wonder what it’s gonna be like, I really do.

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23 thoughts on “Of Wedding colors and Bridal train brouhaha…

  1. Mehnnnn, bless your soul for this….it’s crazy, unnecessarily extravagant and expensive.

    you know every na…I can’t even speak English.

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  2. Lol! Funny piece and so relatable too. Several parts got me chuckling especially the part of your family taking the mandate to multiply and be fruitful seriously lol! Love this! Please keep writing 😀

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  3. Lovely, lovely piece IG. I think you should take up the pen before the camera. But talking about aso-ebis, a friend told me there were so many groups with diverse aso-ebis at his Mum’s burial, it became impossible to identify everybody. He walked up to a group that looked strikingly unfamiliar and struck a conversation so he could get an opportunity to look someone in the face. As if sensing his doubts, the leader of the group explained to him that they were all actually related to him by blood and were just as grief-stricken as he. Luckily he has a sense of humour so he told them what an opportune discovery it was. Well my friend is a permanent secretary and as such open to more and more blood relations

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  4. Yay Iember! Glad to see u’re writing…. nice piece! I can totally relate! And oh pls have a large wedding, so I can come, 3 kids, nanny and all… ☺

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  5. Kai IG…nice one. Unflattering bridesmaids dresses, I can totally relate with. As for a mammoth gathering wedding, keep calm and be ready to feed multitudes, you can’t run away from it, shei your surname is Gavar and location is Gboko?

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  6. Lol…IG really nice piece. I can totally relate. When all you want is a wedding for just 50 people but you end up with a multitude because your family is large and your parents know half of the town!

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  7. Great piece! Seems we are all tired of crowded weddings, how come it still continues. Cant we (young people) do something about it?

    Btw, looking at it from the flip side, about parents knowing half of the town, that’s you and I in a few decades. Would things be any different for our kids?

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